Going back to a post from last week, I still have a LiveJournal account. After doing the infamous “25 things…” list like everyone else, I got curious and wondered over to research my long-forgotten journal. It does exist and, although I won’t give out my user name, I will say it was quite hard to read. You don’t realize, or I didn’t until just now, that words even removed several years, can still bite. I updated my LJ through high school; a rambunctious time for everyone, no doubt. One thing that bothered me was just how depressing it was! I didn’t come from a bad family, or a bad part of town, and for that I’m lucky, but holy milking cow Batman! this thing was a major downer! I read all the way back to the beginning, noticing 1)several grammatical errors I wish I had corrected and 2)that I was kind of an asshole.
Immature, restless, self centered. Of course, I was also in high school. My life has had many great things happen since that time and I think I’ve matured more. Writing on here feels very much like when I would write in my LJ. I read over things now before I post them (always a good idea) and try and communicate better. I’m writing here because it helps keep my friends and family updated on my life, but also because it’s almost therapeutic. I keep a real live journal for all the stuff I don’t want on here. And no… you can’t see it.
It was helpful that I had an empty weekend (for the most part) to ruminate on what things were like in back then. A very quiet Friday at home with Cash. We had Bagel Bites and Lonestar beer and watched the West Wing. He’s getting sick, just like me, and so we were both laid up on the couch. Saturday, Valentine’s Day, we got up and went for a run around the neighborhood. I probably talked to him more than what could be considered normal, but he’s a good listener. The folks were in Louisiana with friends, so I had the house to myself.
The lesson I learned from rummaging through my high school years is that most things are temporary. The anger you feel toward someone or something, the disappointment, the loneliness; all of these things are temporary. Also, I take myself way to serious. So those are things I will work on, along with the goals I seem to never accomplish. I’m gonna keep chipping away…